Do You Know How to Speak Yat Yet?

* make us famous

I had a gig at the Convention Center today. There have been some major overhauls to the facility since the last time I’d been  there. In Hall A there’s a huge room now between the exhibit floor and the lobby. It’s tastefully spackled with arty magnolia patterns on one wall and a bunch of weird unrelated words like “lard” and “Tchoupitoulas” on another. I’m puzzled over what these giant random words are about until I’m on the lobby side of the entrance and notice a plaque, kind of like what you’d see in a museum, that says  “Do You Know How to Speak Yat Yet?”

Coincidentally, the coworkers I was returning from a smoke break with all happened to be fellow natives. 

In a burst of inspiration I proposed that we all quit our jobs and open a petting zoo with ourselves as the inhabitants.  Except instead of petting us, we drunkenly abuse the rubes  and then they pay us.

Upon further reflection it occurred to me that an even better idea would be to somehow engineer the exploitation of our culture for fun and profit by circulating our own versions of quaint New Orleans phrases and customs. This could be a cool one for example:

When a native says “let me get that outta’ y” it is customary to give them five dollars on the spot. No matter what the situation. Five dollars. Immediately. No questions asked.  This is done to gain the native’s trust and also as a sign that you too acknowledge and respect the vengeful all-father Poseidon.