I got so disgusted with pretentious phonies that in a fit of pique I decided to stop wiping my ass.

* make us famous

As self-defeating and pointless as this may seem, there was a method to my madness. I’d hang out in crowded bars in a brown cloud of fecal disregard. With vindictive glee I’d share my anal vapours in public situations just to see how long people would stand in my shit-reek while trying to impress each other. I figured it was the most antisocial thing I could do.  

The fucked thing is I started getting laid more than I ever had in my life. You’d be amazed  at how many girls in this town are coprophiliacs.